Hilariously Dumb Things That People Have Actually Said On The Internet
Back in the day, when you said something stupid, mostly only your close friends and family would be privy to your error of idiotic proportions. However, in a digital age, every stupid thing you say online is exposed to billions of people who can mock it.
You think that this would make people a little more careful about their online remarks, but in fact, it seems to have had the opposite effect.
If You're Going To Lie, At Least Try To Make It Believable
I get it: Facebook Marketplace can be a tough crowd when you're trying to get a fair offer from strangers.
But you shouldn't lie and you definitely shouldn't expose your own lie.
Someone Send Nicole To A Geography Class
I'm curious: How old is she? What country did she think New York was part of?
Did she believe it was its own nation, set apart from the rest of the USA?
Love Isn't Blind, It Just Doesn't Understand How Time Works
I mean, in their defense, I am a single and moderately cynical person, but they seem to be blissfully in love despite their lack of common sense.
Who is the real winner here?
Does... Does This Person Think You Can Only Name Things You've Made?
The rules of naming are so arbitrary and lawless, if you think about it.
It's like one day, someone decided that we were going to call rocks "rocks" and everyone just went along with it.
Dogs Have Brains, But This Person Definitely Doesn't
Dogs are smart enough that they can remember basic commands, quickly recognize danger from external sources, and are in tune with human emotions.
A dog would crush this person in an IQ test.
"Let Me Just Call The Sun And See If He Can Reschedule"
This person had the audacity to believe not only that the world revolved around her, but the sun as well.
Rather than the very scientifically proven opposite way things actually work.
This Person Cleary Failed AP History
Do they think that both of the previous world wars were centered on Adolf Hitler's political ambition—not just the second one?
Do they think that world wars can only be instigated by one man?
At Least The Neighborhood Watch Is Vigilant!
You know, being a member of the neighborhood watch is a noble way to show your dedication to the community.
Just make sure there is actually a threat to report and not just a snowman.
Please Use Spell Check Before Posting!
You know what? Essential oil diffusers, light-scented herbal incense, and meditation are great ways to try and help yourself relax.
Just check your spelling before sharing with all of your closest friends and loved ones.
In His Defense, That Could Really Happen on Family Guy
Just about everyone has had at least one experience where they were bamboozled by the television only to realize they had hit the wrong button.
But it's never taken me more than a minute to realize.
Did Some People Just Never Make It Past The First Grade?
This post is a brutal indictment of the public education system.
I would like to suggest radical education reform on a nationwide scale before I have to clock someone for saying something this dumb to me.
Oh No, Baby, You're Lost Lost
Picture this: It's the first day of school and you're excited to make a good first impression. You're wearing your favorite T-shirt and jeans combo.
You get a bit lost looking for your first class only to realize you are literally in the wrong building.
Hydroplaning In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
I don't care if this person posted this as a joke.
There are enough stupid people on the internet who don't realize that tread is essential for driving who will follow this lead.
I Think The Math Has To Be Simpler, If Anything
There are few things that I find funnier than someone arrogantly answering a question incorrectly and following up with a condescending remark about how it was too easy.
It is peak comedy.
She's Pretty And Smarter Than Her Parent
Anyone who had parents who assumed they were always right and that you were dumb (despite you having the correct answers) understands what this situation feels like all too well.
Yes, it's a very familiar feeling to some of us.
Please Stop Leaving Bad Advice Out For Stupid People
I understand that having to manually take the brush and scrape ice off your windshield for 10 minutes isn't the greatest start to a day.
But trust me when I say it's your best option.
Bold Of You To Assume I Have A Boyfriend
There are plenty of times where 'stop being lazy' is a perfectly acceptable phrase to mutter. It's probably not during a pandemic when people are being laid off and deciding whether to pay for food or rent.
But that's none of my business.
When You're Straight Up Done With Your Job
Working in the service industry can be tough because you get SO many strange requests from customers.
This guy wanted an "extra creamy" pina colada, which is pretty odd considering they're not even that creamy to begin with.
Sorry To Break It To You, But This Is Not Discrimination
Sometimes, you're not being specifically discriminated against by the standardized form that doesn't have a "straight" option.
Sometimes you're just too dumb to realize that "heterosexual" means the same thing as "straight."
What Do The Scientists And Health Professionals Know?
Warning to people who generally like to be alive and not dead:
Do not go fishing and crabbing in areas with algae blooms and pollutants that are known to kill people!
This Is Just A Trainwreck
From the misspelling of Kansas (which they recognize contains an A) to the horrific misspelling of Turkey, to the fact that this other person believes that London is a country, this post is just one continuous disaster.
A disaster that just keeps on going.
You Didn't Need To Expose Yourself Like This
If they were unsure of the gender, they could have taken the safe route and suggested gender-neutral puppy names.
But alas, they showed everyone that they don't understand that male/female is the same as girl/boy.
Has This Person Never Seen A Physical Map Before?
It's almost like the person asking the question was never forced to undergo the experience of being on a road trip and playing your Game Boy in the back while your parents scream at each other while pointing at the fold-out map.
In fact, it's just like that.
What Site Did She Look This Up On
People make me sick! How dare someone drop the interchangeable screwdriver heads from their toolkit on the ground at the gas station and leave them there!
I am appalled by humanity!
Darn Canadians, Getting Things Right Again
This is still better than a post I saw where people asked how the crew was able to film the "Titanic film documentary" while the ship was sinking in real-time.
History, people. Look it up sometime.
PETA, You Played Yourself
Before you use a piece of popular culture to try and reinforce your beliefs, you might want to consider really getting to understand it.
Just in case you end up contradicting your own viewpoint.
May I Emphasize The Parking Element Of This Ticket?
A more relevant question may be this one:
"How slow are the neurons in your brain firing in order for you not to realize that a car, when parked, is not moving at all?"
Hmmm, Can't Imagine Why He Chose Korean...
I understand that being a reporter on the red carpet for an event—let alone the Oscars—can be a very stressful job.
But perhaps you and your team should work a little harder to do question prep.
Welcome To FM Radio, Invented In 1933
Have we really reached this point in time?
The point when people don't remember what it was like to listen to the radio on your way to school and see if your friends got the trivia of the morning right too?
The Whole Family Can Benefit!
Why limit tutoring services to your son when the whole family could learn a lot about English?
Within one lesson, you could all know how to spell basic words like "tutor."
Not Once Did I See A Meaty Okra On Screen
I hope this is a joke. I hope this is a joke. I hope this is a joke.
I hope this is a joke. Please let this be a joke.
Podcasts Killed The Radio Star
I didn't think that the radio was such an ancient concept, but it's insane to think that a large group of people have never spent the whole car ride trying to find a good station.
Radio. You're thinking of a radio.
Toys R Us Called, They Want Their Doll Back
This woman honestly looks like she is more genetically similar to a Bratz doll than a human.
Don't get me wrong, she has amazing makeup and editing skills, but we have to draw the line somewhere.
All Around The What Now?
Pro tip: if you're trying to make others believe that the Earth is actually flat, you might want to avoid using terminology that undermines your whole idea such as "all around the globe".
Just a thought.
Not A Koala-ty Purchase
Buying a dog costs anywhere up to $1000 dollars and adopting one from a rescue is often cost more than $100.
In what world would it be possible to purchase a koala for $70?
Have People Forgotten How Fractions Work?
After spending several torturous years in elementary school going through fractions in math class, you'd think that someone would know better or at least visually tell that the 1/4 cup is smaller than the 1/3 one.
You would think that, but you wouldn't be right.
This Is Stupid, Not Poetic
As someone who has an English degree, I feel justified in saying this.
Many things that are supposed to be "deep" and "poetic" are just logistically flawed and kind of obvious.
I Feel So Bad For This Docotr
"The virus is a government lie!"
The patient said between heaves and coughs while the doctor tried to put them on a ventilator to support their failing lungs amidst a global crisis.
...Are Boomers Okay?
This is a PSA to boomers: the jokes about young people not knowing how to spell are so old. I assure you they would not struggle with this four-letter word.
Please just stop.
Why?
It's never too early to set your child on the terrifying path of existentialism—at least, this girl's parents didn't think so.
I'm absolutely certain that Tony Hawk stayed up all night thinking about it.
Numbers R Hard
I really don't see the big deal about someone preferring one style of digital clock over another, but apparently this person is really passionate about clocks and 12-hour time readings.
Weird passion, but okay.
They Really Thought They Were Doing Something
As a literature geek who majored in English in college, I can understand some people's irritation at misused references.
However, this might be the one time someone actually mentioned Frankenstein correctly.
You Missed The Point
I feel like it's a natural occurrence for every generation as they get older to start hating the younger generations, forgetting what it was like to be a child or a teenager.
Will we ever learn?
Drama Queen Sounds About Right
Am I going to pretend that wearing a mask all the time isn't hot and uncomfortable?
No, but pretending like it's threatening your life to breathe with one, as a healthy adult, for a few seconds is ridiculous.
Checkmate, Ma'am
Some people really go out of their way to complain about things for no reason. What does this woman gain by making this post?
Just sit down and be quiet.
Yahoo Really Fumbled The Bag
It's one thing to miss an opportunity or two and maybe make a poor financial decision, but Yahoo seems unable to make a single good choice for themselves.
Some people never learn.
Guess I Can't Apply...
I feel like job postings are a huge joke.
They'll say things like, "Entry-level position: must have a Ph.D. and 25 years of experience to apply. Pay is $11 an hour."
America Should Just Adopt The Metric System
Do you know how many countries in the world use the metric system? The answer is 194.
Do you know how many use the imperial system of measurements? The answer is 3.
This Is Disgusting
Most of the time, I like to believe that people are, in general, good.
But then I read stories about monsters like this, and I start to question if they really are.
We're All Going To Die
I can't imagine being in the middle of a global pandemic that has killed hundreds of thousands of people and preferring to get a fake negative test just so I can potentially spread illness more.
It's mind-boggling.
